A Neurotic in an Exotic Land; The Adventures of Professor Lucas

Here you will find some related writings (generally not as funny as the book) and a little info about the author, as well as an excerpt from the book.
The photo above should have been the book's cover!--and it
should be turned around!

All rights reserved.

Although some of the items I've now posted differ in their mood and style from the book itself, I am posting them here anyway because they date from roughly the time period in which the book was written--and, I believe they share a certain ambience with it. (note added 14 March 2010)

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Chapter Six; Part Two

APOLOGY: Part Two of Chapter Six was inadvertently omitted from the published version.

Chapter Six, Part Two
A Neurotic in an Exotic Land
Mark J. Lovas
©Copyright 2010 by Mark J. Lovas; all rights reserved

She rolled over, and opened her eyes. She smiled. Well, really, on any given day, there really wasn’t much infor mation in the newspaper anyway. . . . not really . . . .
What was going on? Was it an earthquake? The expression on Jana’s face changed from pleasure to something else, something unhappy.
“Lou! Lou?”
Shit! It must be Veronika. But she had a key. Okay, it would be worse if she had just come in. But why couldn’t she phone first?
“Look, I’m sorry. It’s Veronika. She must have come for her clothes.”
Jana looked worried. She leaned over and kissed him, got out of bed, gathered together her clothes, and went into the bathroom.
Lou fumbled for his clothes, pulled on his pants, and stumbled toward the door.
He opened it just a bit. Veronika’s face was determined and impersonal.
“I’ve got to have my clothes.”
“I called you first, but you didn’t answer.”
“I didn’t hear it.”
“I know. I can imagine why. “
“I was sleeping!”
“Right.” She marched into the room, and began to pack. Lou was glad that Jana was in the bathroom.
“Look, Ver, I’m really sorry about all of this.”
“I’m not. Sometimes, that’s the way it is. And I’m not going to waste my time with somebody who thinks so little about me that he can sleep with me one night and sleep with someone he’s just met in the same bed the very next day.”
Lou was stunned. He couldn’t see any inconsistency in his behavior. In fact, whenever Veronika was mad at him, he always found himself turned on. Like right now, in fact. And he couldn’t understand why Veronika would imagine that the fact that she turned him on would rule out the possibility that Jana also turned him on. He felt confused.
He heard Jana in the bathroom. He hoped she wouldn’t leave. He wanted to finish what they’d started when Ver interrupted them. He decided to go on the offensive.
“But, look Ver. You haven’t exactly been devoting all of your thoughts to me since you got here. I mean, what about the way you dressed Saturday morning? I mean with that short skirt you were wearing, if you told me that you had decided to sell yourself, I would have believed you”
She took a few quick steps toward and slapped him, with full force.
He nearly fell over.
“Lou, when you get right down to it, you really are primitive. And you have no idea, absolutely no idea, how you’ve managed to take my life away from me. I am so glad that all of this has happened. I can finally be free.”
That was hard to swallow. He sat on the bed. He knew what she was talking about. He wanted to say something about compromises, but he felt unsure. Maybe she was right. What could he say now? He wished she’d hurry up. He wished that Jana would join him in bed. He wished he could just forget everything.
Ver had finished packing. “Well, I suppose I will see you at the reception. But, just remember. I don’t owe you anything, and I’m still mad.”
She slammed he door.
Jana emerged from the bathroom with an extra heavy mask of makeup, as if she had prepared herself for battle with chemical or radioactive agents.
But she kissed him affectionately, so affectionately that he felt guilty for criticizing the way that she contaminated her face with harsh chemical agents. Apparently, being in the bathroom, or else hearing Ver’s voice had done something to her. She pushed him down onto the bed.
< < < < > > > >
Veronika called Martin. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to stay in a hotel. Fact is she’d miss Lou.
“Martin, So, you finally woke up.”
“Yes, my sweet. I miss you.”
“And I miss you Martin, you charmer….”
Where are you now?
“I had to get my things from the hotel.”
“And you’re bringing them here?
“Do you want me to?”
“You know I want you to.”
Well, at least that was settled. She smiled as she thought of Martin. But Lou made her so mad. Anyway, there were a few hours before the wedding. Time for lunch, and maybe time for something else as well.
< < < < > > > >
Jana was talking about the Dalai Lama. She considered him to be the perfect man. Except, of course, for the fact that Buddhist Monks were not supposed to have sex. His mind began to wander. Jana noticed it.
“Well, if I am not interesting for you, maybe I should leave.”
“But we just ordered food!”
“You can eat alone. You’re not child.”
“I’m sorry Jana.” He tried to hold her. She pushed him away.
“But, you know, it’s just all so surprising.”
She looked interested.
“I mean, meeting you . . .”
She was waiting.
“How could I be so lucky?”
“So you don’t listen to me? You’re lucky?”
A knock. The food. Maybe the interruption would save him. He wasn’t sure she was convinced. He wasn’t sure he was convinced. If he told her the truth, what he really thought about the Dalai Lama, she was out of here. If he didn’t tell her the truth, she’d probably be even madder.
“Well, you know that business about reincarnation is really crazy.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean babies don’t deserve to suffer.”
“Oh, you are just a Westerner. It is not easy for Westerners to understand Asian culture.”
And you are a Westerner, too, he was thinking. How can you understand it? But she seemed, for the moment at least, satisfied….
They were hungry. The food (and wine) changed the mood. For a moment, he felt better, until he remembered that Veronika was probably with that slime Martin.
The guy was obviously nothing more than . . . .
When they finished eating, Jana turned to him. “I have to call Martin.”
Why Martin?
I don’t have clothes. He has my clothes.
Fine with me, Lucas thought. Who needs a wedding reception anyway? But Petra would be disappointed. And then there was Mr. You-Have-Shown-Me-The-True-Path-to-My-Daughter’s-Happiness… Probably wanted to make another offer . . .
Jana rang up her ex. Then she exploded into violent consonants, with a few choice vowels.
He says he bought all of my clothes anyway. Says they are his.
Really? Lucas was worried. Did this girl expect him to buy her clothes too?
“I’m going there. The pig.”
She phoned for a taxi.
“And the wedding? The reception?”
She smiled, “I will be there.”
But where will you put your clothes?
“I am bringing them here.” She said.
< < < > > > >
Veronika smiled at Martin. When was the last time she’d felt so good? Her body was tingling.
Martin jumped up. “I knew it. The bitch.”
Ver was shocked by the tone in his voice.
Martin put on a robe. “My love. I’m sorry. I’ll take care of this and be right back.”
He went downstairs.
Veronika stared at the ceiling. She felt unsatisfied. And she was not happy about the situation at all. If there was a girl downstairs now, another girl, there’d be yet another girl just around the corner. Okay, she could accept that if he’d just come back to bed, soon…. But this didn’t look like an isolated incident.
Downstairs, Martin didn’t want to let Jana in. but she forced her way inside. In fact, she kicked him in the groin. As he fell aside, she made her way upstairs.
Veronika was surprised when Jana stormed in.
“I want my clothes.”
She pulled out a suitcase and began packing.
Veronika sat up in bed, pulling the bedcovers up to her shoulders. She began to study this woman. Vulgar. She had a full figure, and a rather blank, dull, but pretty face. She did not like what this told her about the inner character of the man she had once been in love with. And she did not like the fact that her interest meant she still felt something for her.
Jana had no interest in Veronika. If Veronika was studying Jana, Jana took no interest in her. She didn’t ignore Ver. It was as if Ver were invisible, and she found it annoying.
Martin was back upstairs.
Jana finished packing. She took lipstick and wrote on the mirror, in large letters, “PIG!”. She turned triumphantly to Martin, and screamed “Pig” as she stormed out of the room.
Martin turned to Ver, “I’m really sorry about all this.”
Veronika tried to smile, “That’s okay; let’s get some lunch. I’d like some fresh air.”
* * * * *
That night, Lou did his best to stay away from Martin and Ver. He tried not to look at them. In the beginning of the evening, Jana danced with him. But, as she began to drink, he noticed she was staring at someone else. And, then, she excused herself.
He sat down at a table and poured himself a glass of wine. He didn’t see Ver or Martin anywhere. Petra looked happy. She was dancing with Tom. Mr. Kral was nowhere to be seen.

There were a few lovely ladies out on the dance floor.
Jana was back, pulling a rather large gorilla behind him. A gorilla in a tuxedo, but still a gorilla.
“This is Martin.”
(Another Martin? Lou was surprised, but he resisted the urge to comment upon the name.)
Martin shook Lou’s hand with an overly firm grip. His smile seemed relatively normal, but Lou was uncomfortable.
“Martin wants me to be in his new film!”. Jana was smiling.
Yes, Professor Lucas, Jana has incredible talent.
Lucas’s mind had wandered away from the subject of film. Yes, she was talented…
“What sort of film?”
Jana was bubbling over, “Martin is a famous director of erotic films!”.
Martin smiled in a controlled sort of way.
“I hope you won’t mind.”
(Mind? Why should he mind?)
This is a great opportunity for me!
(Yes. Lucas recalled the first time he’d seen Jana in a magazine. Why not a film? Easy come. Easy go.)
Yes. Of course. You must go.
She moved close to Lucas, hugged him, and began to kiss him. “But, I’ll be back….”
Fine. She’d be back. But by that time, where would he be? What the hell. It was as if he’d won a million dollars one day and then found out that he’d forgot to pay a big bill the next . . . and that the interest had been accumulating for a long time…. Nothing to do but have a drink, and another . . .
> > > < < <>

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