A Neurotic in an Exotic Land; The Adventures of Professor Lucas

Here you will find some related writings (generally not as funny as the book) and a little info about the author, as well as an excerpt from the book.
The photo above should have been the book's cover!--and it
should be turned around!

All rights reserved.

Although some of the items I've now posted differ in their mood and style from the book itself, I am posting them here anyway because they date from roughly the time period in which the book was written--and, I believe they share a certain ambience with it. (note added 14 March 2010)

Monday, March 15, 2010

The Crimes of Capitalism

The Crimes of Capitalism

Or, What I learned while working at the Caledonian School.

with apologies to Allen Ginsberg

(c) Copyright by Mark J. Lovas

Dedication: Last year when I was living in Prague, one bright spot amid a year of lies, deception, and double-dealing was reading the graffiti on the wall of a wholly forgettable (tourist-free) pub near Florenz metro station. Somebody had scrawled, “The Crimes of Capitalism in this country are awful.” Thinking of how Czech newspapers are filled with the stock phrase “the crimes of socialism/communism/totalitarianism” and the interpretation usually placed upon that phrase, I felt that the person who wrote those words is a hero. I dedicate this poem to him (it was on the inside door of a men’s restroom) and to all those attending the Global Street Party in Prague in September 2000.

The Crimes of Capitalism are Breathtaking!

The Crimes of Capitalism are Uncountable!

The Crimes of Capitalism Cannot be Forgiven!

--Not even if we heap the skulls of the forgotten victims one upon the other,

and built of them a New Capitalist Temple.

The Crimes of Capitalism are Knocking at Your door.

The Crimes of Capitalism are Hiding under your Bed!

The Crimes of Capitalism are selling cigarettes to frightened old women who love Vladimir Meciar.

The Crimes of Capitalism made me want to be a Poet.

The Crimes of Capitalism made me walk in my sleep.

The Crimes of Capitalism sent the daughters of the Ukraine to work in Czech brothels.

No one knows whether the Crimes of Capitalism are giving you Brain Cancer at this very moment.

And No One is likely to find out because all of the research is being done by the companies who sell Brain Cancer.

The Crimes of Capitalism told us that the poor are lazy and that the rich are the new aristocracy who must be worshipped no matter what the cost.

The Crimes of Capitalism have taken away your children and replaced them with video games.

Ivana the Terrible is a Crime of Capitalism.

The Managerial Class is a Crime of Capitalism.

The Merciless Hyperbole of Language Factory Promotional Literature is a Capitalist Crime!

America’s We-Don’t-Care-About-The-Poor Health Care System is a Crime of Capitalism.

George Bush is a Crime of Capitalism no matter what his full name is.

I marvel in wonder at the Crimes of Capitalism.

You cannot keep the Crimes of Capitalism from Happening.

Only Poetry can Stop the Crimes of Capitalism.

Only Poetry Can Save the Managerial Class.

I didn’t want to Save Anyone.

I wanted to buy my way out of here,

But Instead I was Bought and Sold.

And Now I can’t Stop Myself from Asking

When America will Wake Up and see that greed is not a new Religion,

And Who is Gonna Tell Them,

That Ticket Checkers in the Budapest Metro know only one word of English,

--and that word is PUNISHMENT.

--Mark Lovas, Bratislava, July 25, 2000

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